


do you want me to let you go?

by TheDeviantSentByJericho



Series: The Ranger Way [1]
Category: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan, Rangers Apprentice - John Flanagan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I mean, It Gets Better, Men Crying, Parental Halt O'Carrick, Past Drug Use, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Will Treaty Has PTSD, Will is a Mess, a sentence - Freeform, because seriously after what he went through how could he not, but mostly i just want some parental hurt/comfort, it's only mentioned for like, of sorts, since will's trauma was not properly addressed in the books, though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28942518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeviantSentByJericho/pseuds/TheDeviantSentByJericho
Summary: Will wants to die. Halt won't let him.-me @ this fandom: this bitch empty! YEET!-
Relationships: Halt O'Carrick & Will Treaty
Series: The Ranger Way [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122989
Comments: 14
Kudos: 41





	do you want me to let you go?

Will was not the person he had once been.

He wasn't the person Halt had taken in.

He had doubted if he ever would be again.

Now he knew he never would.

Old Will would never have even considered this, slipping away from the cabin in the darkness of night, standing over the cliffside as the sun rose. By the time the last bright colours had faded from the horizon, he would be gone, Will resolved.

The river running beneath caught his eye as he caught his breath. After running all though the night, Will was exhausted, but he never would have slept even had he not left to do this. He couldn't let himself. The nightmares were always there, always waiting, and they were stronger than he was now. Now he was nothing.

Honestly, Will was shocked Halt let him stay his apprentice. Warmweed, slavery, fear- it had stolen the talented young Ranger away, and he was never coming back. It was only a matter of time before Halt and everyone else realized it. Even if Halt was willing to keep him, trying to find the man he'd risked everything for, Will was no longer fit to be a Ranger. 

Being gone would make it so much easier for everyone.

  
Will's feet tried the edge as he tried to find any vestige of the courage that had once come so easy to him. 

A gust of wind nudged him forwards. He leaned into it. 

He didn't fall.

* * *

Halt had woken the moment Will unlatched the door.

For all his emotional gruffness, Halt wasn't a fool, and he'd noticed the changes in his apprentice ever since coming back from Skandia. Ever since he'd found him there, in truth. He was hiding, _lying,_ always scared, always just a few steps behind where he was before. Saying Halt hated it would be a drastic understatement.

Yet every attempt to reach out was only met with deflection and lies.

Given what had happened to him, it was no surprise that Will had changed. Still, Halt knew that the honest, friendly, clever young man was still in there somewhere. He saw him, occasionally, in the flash of a genuine smile, in the jokes that were slowly growing less forced. 

If Halt wanted him back- which he did, more than he would admit- he'd have to wait for Will to come to him, it seemed.

When Will crept outside, Halt followed silently.

The further they went, the more concerned Halt grew. He recognized the direction they were heading, knew it far too well. He hoped it was nothing, that he just couldn't sleep (a worryingly common occurrence on its own), that he was just going for a walk (why had Tug whinnied like that then?), that he was _fine,_ but Halt wasn't a man for optimism.

Halt debated revealing himself as he watched Will, teetering on the precipice, considering things no person, no _boy,_ should ever have to. But he knew, knew painfully but truly, that Will needed to make a choice. 

He just hoped it would be the right one. (Spoilers: It wasn't.)

A cruel wind stirred up the still air, pushing Will towards the edge. Moving quicker than he ever had in his long, fast-paced, life Halt reached out as Will spread his arms, leaning forwards, beginning to fall. Will's cry as Halt grabbed tightly onto him, still dangling over the edge, tore what was left of Halt's heart apart, but he only held on tighter.

He would not let him fall.

* * *

Will's eyes were clenched shut, the arms around his waist both painful and safe. "halt?" he asked, softly, already knowing the answer.

Halt only grunted and leaned down to whisper in the boy's ear. Will couldn't see it, but he was crying too. 

_  
"Do you want me to let you go?"_

The pause that followed was long, every second feeling like knives closing in around their beautiful, broken hearts. 

"I-" Will's words were sobs. "I don't... _know,_ "

Halt pulled him back, away from the edge, not letting go, never letting go. "That's okay," he said, tightly. "But I don't want to let you go."

"But I thought-"

A finger, held over his lips. "You're an apprentice. You're not ready to think."

Will's sobs began in earnest, and Halt held him closer, his own tears rinsing his cheeks.

He would not let go.


End file.
